Six Things Jesus Calls His Disciples To – Part 6 Forsaking Family

Today we as we look at the next item of the six things Jesus calls us to as disciples we come to a fascinating scripture and one that some really just don’t quite understand. The fourth hallmark of discipleship is that a disciple forsakes his family. On the surface this just doesn’t seem right to us and one might even be tempted to suggest this contradicts scripture. 1 Timothy 5:8 instructs us about family saying, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Obviously taking care of our family is important and they should be our first priority in taking care of and in sharing the Gospel.

This is what Jesus says about His disciples in Matthew 10:34-37, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Let us break this down and find out what this means.

First of Jesus says he did not come to “bring peace to the earth.” Jesus is not contradicting the idea that the Gospel is a gospel of peace, it is for those who have decided to accept His it. Romans 5:1 tells us, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Thanks be to God, through Christ our sin can no longer keep us at war with God’s holiness. The blood of Christ has covered our sin once and for all time when Jesus shed it for us at Calvary. And along with this good news is the news that we have been set free from sin, worry, anger, and anything else that creates havoc within us through the power of the Holy Spirit.

But for those who refuse God’s offer of the Gospel, their sin puts them at war with God, for God is a Holy God and by nature is directly opposed to sin. What Jesus is saying here in Matthew 10:35-36, “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household”  is that a disciple of Christ cannot help but be in conflict with those who reject His truth. Jesus is referring here to a quote from Micah 7:6, “for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house.”

God does not like compromise and that is clear when we read the history of Israel in the OT. Jesus confirmed this in His time on earth by saying things such as "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." from Luke 9:62. What Jesus expects from us is a total commitment. This is modeled for us in His choosing of the original disciples who left everything behind to come follow Him. By using our families as an example Jesus is demonstrating how serious He expects our commitment to be.

So the bottom line here is that nothing should come between us and Jesus. If our friends are unbelievers we must forsake them to do what Jesus asks. If our jobs require us to deny Christ we will be required to leave and seek other employment. Though we are not commanded to divorce an unbelieving spouse, we cannot allow our spouse to draw us away from God. 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 Paul explains, “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?” At all times our efforts and our prayers must be directed toward leading those who are opposed to us and Jesus to a saving knowledge of Him.

The world is our enemy for it is an enemy of Christ. But never forget what Jesus commands us to do to our enemies in Matthew 5:44-45 “…love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.” Paul expands on this in Romans 12:18-21 saying, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

So to sum this up we must love everyone even when we are diametrically opposed to their way of life. But loving someone does not mean we agree nor does it mean we act as they do. A true disciple of Christ walks in the Spirit and seeks to be like Jesus. The world and even our unbelieving family members will try and keep us from following Christ’s commands thus they become our enemy. Romans 12:2 must become our way of life even when its causes division in our homes. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

This will not be easy and actually unless we walk in the power of the Holy Spirit it is too much. So keep your eyes on Jesus, stay in His Word daily, and pray without ceasing. God bless all of you.