Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Friday, June 24, 2016

Love Never Fails


Love is a choice not an emotion. When we enter into a relationship, especially a marriage, we don’t often understand this truth. Usually we are infatuated with the other person and we don’t really see them clearly. We don’t pick up on the little things they do that annoy us. Certainly in the early part of the relationship we also put up a façade. We show them our good side and hide any deficiencies that might jeopardize the relationship. Then later on, maybe even years later, the façade has come down and the infatuation is gone. We get weary of each other and even the littlest faults can become glaring ones. This is when the marriage is at a crossroads. This is when divorce becomes an option. If you are not a Christian then I get it. You lack the strength to carry on, but if you claim Christ then the Bible says you have the Holy Spirit and the Spirit of God is love. This morning I think we all need a refresher on what God says about love in His Word.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  

If you are struggling today in your marriage make this scripture reading your entire focus. Ask the Holy Spirit for patience. To be married you’re going to need it. Ask the Holy Spirit to remove any jealousy you have for your spouse’s happiness. Ask Him to take away your pride…all of it. Humility will defuse most problems. Ask the Spirit to remove your rudeness. It is rude to talk to our loved ones they way we so often do. Ask Him to remove all anger. Your anger will not help the situation; it will only exacerbate it. Ask the Holy Spirit to empower you to forget the past, even the immediate past. If you hold on to one iota of what already happened you cannot move forward. Ask the Spirit to let you rejoice in the truth and not to revel in evil.

Make a choice to love your spouse. Make a choice to love them always and forever. If you are a Christian then you are required to keep that vow you made. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love always perseveres.

Marriage is hard. Make a choice today to commit to your marriage and to love your spouse. Persevere in love.


Love never fails. We do if we don’t choose love. 

Friday, February 5, 2016

Forgiveness - A Perpetual Act


Being a Christian comes with heavy demands. One of them is forgiveness. Jesus does not mince words in Luke 17:3-4 saying, “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

True Christians forgive. Always. The Bible is clear about what love looks like and forgiveness is the hallmark of love. Nowhere is this more important than in our marriages. Countless times I have heard Christians say things like “I’m tired of him/her. I’m done with them.” These complaints come from things as serious as adultery but also are spoken about the littlest things like leaving clothes on the floor instead of picking them up and putting them in the laundry basket. Listen to Jesus as recorded by Dr. Luke.

Luke 17:3-4
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Notice anything there? Look again. “…if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

The implication here made by Jesus is that people are going to often do the same thing over and over. And we do. All of us. Our reaction is to say, “Enough! I am tired of you doing the same thing over and over.” But Jesus says that doesn’t matter.

Most people don’t like this verse and want to argue it out. The truth of what Jesus is saying is that we are not to stop forgiving. Instead of harboring resentment towards others we need to follow our command to forgive. Become about restoration. Yes we are supposed to confront each other with our sins. Jesus did say to rebuke the sinner. But then forgive him. Then help him.

We can change marriages and relationships by simply living this out. Is it easy? No, but the true Christian is not left to fight this through alone.

I leave you with more words from Jesus that explains how to live this out.

John 14:15-17
 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. “

Make forgiveness a priority in all your relationships. It will change your world.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Marriage and Divorce in the Eyes of God

Did you know that there are no pictures of Jesus in existence? Oh artists have made their paintings of Him but not one single picture exists that was painted or drawn by an actual witness who really saw Jesus and would actually know what He looks like. The pictures on our walls are merely man’s concept of what he thinks Jesus looks like and clearly most are not even close to what He actually did.

So why would God, who has allowed His Holy Word to survive for thousands of years, not see fit to have someone draw us a picture of His Son, Jesus? I suggest because God wants the world to see Christ in us. The greatest witness the world can get from a Christian is to see Christ in them. The Bible is full of types and shadows that represent more than the simplest literal translations. One of the pictures of the relationship of Christ to His church is found in marriage.

So the implication here should be obvious, marriage is extremely important to God. It is not something Christians should take lightly. It is not something we should enter into without extreme caution nor is it to be lived out in our lives in a frivolous manner. The very first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding. There are no coincidences in scripture. Marriage is important to God.

The flip side of marriage is divorce. The Bible has much to say about divorce. Marriage is so important to God that He made sure His Word spoke clearly about divorce and marriage. In the second chapter of Malachi we read God’s stern words about those who divorce their wives.

Malachi 2:16
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

The NASB renders that verse as saying “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel.”

Yes that is OT. But the basic moral laws of God were not removed when the New Covenant came along. Jesus had strong words about divorce as well. Listen to what Christ says on the topic of marriage and divorce.

Matthew 19:3-9
 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"  "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."  "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"  Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The teaching is clear; Marriage is meant to be permanent. Divorce is a sin. The Bible’s overall teaching is that divorce is a sin for Christians except in the one case of adultery but even then it is not commanded. The entire theme of the New Testament is forgiveness, grace, and mercy. As Christians our witness to the world when we forgive our spouses for each and every transgression is the greatest witness possible for it is a picture of Jesus and His Church. Jesus died for His bride the Church. He paid the price for His bride’s transgressions by dying for her. This is our duty as well. While divorce between Christians is a sin of course it’s not the unpardonable sin. But the Church needs to step up and preach against sin. All sin. If a pastor told you it was ok to get divorced, unless adultery was involved he is just plain wrong and is doing what Malachi was giving a stern warning against in Malachi chapter 2. I suggest any Christian counseling a married couple read that chapter. This is serious business. If as Christians you and your spouse divorced and have not yet remarried, I strongly suggest you reconcile no matter how difficult that is. I promise you God will bless that.

Christians we have got to stop looking like the world. In terms of divorce we behave just like the world; the divorce rate in the church is the same as in the world. This cannot be.

So if you are a Christian make your marriage the most important thing in your life. Stop choosing your hobbies, your work, and anything else you are putting in front of your spouse as the apex of your life. Stop thinking “your rights” and “your needs” are what matter. Show the world Jesus through your marriage.

Marriage is hard. But once again the answers to having a successful marriage are found in scripture. Below is some of the best marital advice there is. Live and love your spouse in this way and your marriage will never be in danger.

Philippians 2:3-4
 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Peter 4:8
 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Marriage is hard. It will be filled with trials and troubles. But I leave you with the hope of what will come to those who live out their marriage as God calls us to. Hear and obey God’s Word.

James 1:12
 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.